Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Poor Tom Cruise

Oh, it breaks my heart so to hear that poor Tom Cruise has been "fired" by Paramount Studios. Tom Cruise is obviously insane and the studio has finally had enough. To commermorate the occassion of Tom Cruise's firing, I will repost an entry originally from July 15, 2005 about Tom Cruise and his ranting on the Today Show. Here goes:

Tom Cruise has lost his mind. I mean, truly and absolutely lost his mind. To the point that it actually detracts from his movies. It's hard to even look at him because he has become so obsessed with his religion...SCIENTOLOGY.

Scientology...hmmmm...yeah. Here's the start of the story of Scientology:

75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who was in charge of 76 planets in our sector of the galaxy, including planet Earth, whose name at that time was Teegeeack. All of the planets Xenu controlled were over-populated by, on average, 178 billion people. Social problems dictated that Xenu rid his sector of the galaxy of this overpopulation problem, so he developed a plan. Xenu sent out Tax Audit demands to all these billions of people.

As each one entered the audit centers for the income tax inspections, the people were seized, held down and injected with a mixture of alcohol and glycol, and frozen. Then, all 13.5 trillion of these frozen people were put into spaceships that looked exactly like DC8 airplanes, except that the spaceships had rocket engines instead of propellers. Xenu's entire fleet of DC8-like spaceships then flew to planet Earth, where the frozen people were dumped in and around volcanoes in the Canary Islands and the Hawaiian Islands. When Xenu's Air Force had finished dumping the bodies into the volcanoes, hydrogen bombs were dropped into the volcanoes and the frozen space aliens were destroyed.

And, well, it continues like this. If you'd like to read the rest of the story, go to:

Other Scientology beliefs:

  • a person is an immortal spiritual being (termed a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body, accompanied by a lesser "genetic entity"
  • the thetan has lived through many past lives, stored memories of which can cause problems in the present day
  • a person is basically good, but is "aberrated" by the memories of past traumas
Of course, as Tom ranted so eloquently to Matt Laurer, they oppose psychiatry and don't believe in depression or any psychological disorder and completely stand against any medication that might treat a perceived psychological disorder. Additional celebrities who practice Scientology include John Travolta and Kirstie Allie. Yet, somehow they're not nearly as disgusting as Tom because they don't go around trying to convert every person they meet.

So, Tom, keep your mouth shut. No one cares that you think you came from aliens. And no one cares that you don't like psychiatry. It has helped people...we can't say the same for you. No one cares what you have to say unless you're playing Maverick in Top Gun.

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