Saturday, December 10, 2005

Dukes of Hazzard - UNRATED!!!

First up: I was eating lunch/dinner at Keglers on Saturday watching 3 different sporting events on their TVs. Probably every 15 minutes or so I was alerted to the fact the Dukes of Hazzard DVD commercial was airing by one of my friends. Of course, this is the commercial of Jessica Simpson in her "Daisy Duke" shorts doing a little dancing and the whole commercial revolves around the fact that this version is "UNRATED!!!". Not too much Bo...not too much Luke...no discussion of storylines or that this is a great movie...just girls dancing and the fact mentioned it is UNRATED!!! Since then, I notice this commercial comes on a lot, especially during sporting events or shows that males tend to watch. I'm not complaining...but I am complaining a little...here's why:

Obviously this commercial is geared towards guys. I mean, most commercials during sporting events are. The "beer run", the "gaming", the "buy this for your girlfriend" commercials, meant for guys. That's fine. And the DVD commercials are fine...but, since when do movies have to be softcore pornography for people to buy them. This didn't start with Dukes...American Pie, UNRATED!!!, Van Wilder, UNRATED!!!, Harold & Kumar, UNRATED!!! These DVDs have had extra material inserted (read nudity) to enhance the viewing experience. Enhance? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that I guess...but is it necessary? Maybe I'm wrong but it just kinda seems stupid to me. Movies used to be about the storyline and originality and, well, they were just good. Not anymore...they have to be UNRATED!!! to sell DVDs. How long can it be before we see Lord of the Rings - UNRATED!!! With the voiceover telling us that you never know what happens when Frodo visits the elves until you buy the unrated version...

Now, on to the sports predictions for Sunday (Week 14) -- just the games I want:

New England @ Buffalo - Man, it's gonna be cold there. But, unfortunately, the Bills are really bad and New England should be able to beat them...even though New England is getting bad. N.E. 28 - Buffalo 17

St. Louis @ Minnesota - The Love Boat will be waiting to take the Rams away after this game...I don't know how Tice did it but the Vikings are on a roll...give them another win here. St. Louis 14 - Minnesota 17

Cleveland @ Cincinatti - I hate to say it but Cincinatti is going to win the AFC North and Cleveland has no power to try to stop them. Look for an awesome Chad Johnson touchdown celebration around mid-second quarter. Cleveland 16 - Cincinntti 31

NY Giants @ Philidelphia - HAHAHAHA...the Eagles are horrible now. Giants 24 - Phili 3

Additionally, these teams win: Colts, Raiders, Bucs, Titans, Seahawks, Redskins, Charges, Broncos, Cowboys, Lions...

And, last up: Chicago @ Pittsburgh - Chicago has an awesome defense but no offense. Pittsburgh has an offense sometimes and a shaky defense. Pittsburgh hasn't been able to run the ball lately and Ben has been inconsistent (due to injury, of course). I think the Bears defense will stifle the running game and will probably sack Big Ben about 20 times by halftime. Low scoring game...with an interception by the Bears making the difference...Bears 12 - Pittsburgh 7. Sorry...no playoffs in Pittsburgh.

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