Thursday, September 21, 2006

Football Predictions - Ahmadinejad Style

My interview with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad regarding upcoming football picks:

Open Mike: Mahmoud...can I call you Mahmoud? Mahmoud, East Fairmont plays at Bridgeport. East Fairmont beat Bridgeport 21-0 last year. What is your prediction for this year's game?

Ahmadinejad: Unfortunately I didn't have any contact with the people of the Bridgeport. But my general impression is that the people of Bridgeport are good people. Everywhere in the world, people are good.

OM: Mahmoud, you didn't necessarily answer my question.

Ahmadinejad: I think George Bush stole the painting of Jesus from Bridgeport High School.

OM: Ummm...ok. Well, we'll move on. North Marion has really struggled this year. They are going to travel to John Marshall this weekend. What do you think of their chances?

Ahmadinejad: North Marion and John Marshall are seeking peace, love, friendship and justice. The people of North Marion and John Marshall do not have any problems.

OM: Agreed. But what about the football game? I mean, they're playing against each other in football.

Ahmadinejad: When they play football, it means aggression and violations of the rights of John Marshall. I recommended to Gerry White that he can change his behavior, then everything will change.

OM: Do you know anything about football Mahmoud? Any thoughts on Morgantown/Preston?

Ahmadinejad: No.

OM: Okay. Let's look at the college day. What do you think of Notre Dame's big loss to Michigan last week?

Ahmadinejad: Let's assume that it has taken place. Where did it take place? So what is the fault of the Palestinian people? These questions are quite clear. We are waiting for answers.

OM: I think it happened. Will Notre Dame bounce back or fall to Michigan State?

Ahmadinejad: In any school in which the people are ready to vote for the Catholics to come to power, it is up to them. In our country, the Catholics are living and they are represented in our Parliament.

OM: Yeah, that's what I figured. I just want to get this over with. Tell me what you think about #4 West Virginia vs. East Carolina?

Ahmadinejad: What West Virginia is attempting to do to East Carolina is unfair. East Carolina represents the oppressed peoples of the world and West Virginia continues to apply undue pressure upon the schools like East Carolina. It is not right. West Virginia should deal with their own affairs and leave all others be.

OM: Well, Mahmoud, it has been a real pleasure for me. Any last, parting words?

Ahmadinejad: Cowher should not have played Roethlisberger last week.

And, that was that. Not many predictions...here's my guesses:

Bridgeport 28 - East Fairmont 24
John Marshall 38 - North Marion 17
Morgantown 56 - Preston 21
Michigan State 24 - Notre Dame 17
Ohio State 35 - Penn State 21
WVU 56 - East Carolina 13

1 comment:

Greg said...

Genius!