Football Predictions

Because EFHS plays on a Thursday this week, I have to do my predictions a day early and I'm not happy about that...but here goes:

East Fairmont v. Lewis County
Coming off their disappointing loss at North Marion, the Bees will be looking to rebound against dismal Lewis County. It should be a blowout...but not so fast my friends. Lewis County will hang with the Bees all night and it will be 26-20 East going into the 4th quarter. Lewis County scores with 4:00 remaining to tie the game up (of course they can't get an extra point). So, with 2:00 minutes left, Haddox pulls out his secret weapon...Air Bud. Yes folks, all this time Coach Haddox has had Air Bud hidden away. Why he didn't use him last week is beyond me but he's here tonight against Lewis County.

Immediately Leonard throws to the open Air Bud who drives us down the field without problem. Air Bud is one fast dog. But with :23 left and no time outs, the Bees have only made it to the Lewis County 40-yard line. So, the Bees line up for a field goal attempt. The snap is back and Air Bud kicks a 57-yard field goal for the win. Wow...what a game. Air Bud will definitely be getting a treat after this one. Unfortunately the treat was a free trip to France where the French government used him for shark bait. Ah well, we still win the game. East 29 - Lewis Co. 26.

West Fairmont v. Buckhannon
Another tight game at East/West Stadium as the Bears host the Buccaneers. West Fairmont leads by three and has the ball with only 1:34 remaining and things seem to be cruising along well until a spaceship appears over the stadium and pulls L.D. up into the ship. Apparently just your typical probing stuff...not sure. Anyway, the West Side players are so rattled by this turn of events that they leave the field. Buckhannon, not really caring about L.D., stays on the field and wins by forfeit. What a shame. Buckhannon wins.

North Marion v. Morgantown
Learning from last weeks debacle when Preston took the field against Morgantown, North Marion decides to forfeit and, instead, make the Morgantown players buckwheat cakes like the Preston Knights promised to. The Morgantown players are so touched by this display that they only injure 3 North Marion players despite the fact no one took the field. Morgantown wins.

Bridgeport v. Lincoln
Bridgeport defeated RCB last week. Now is time for the revenge of Byrd. Robert C. Byrd missed last weeks game because he got confused as to what year it was...but he'll make his way to Lincoln and inspire them to beat the Indians. He rallies the clan to pull the upset. Lincoln 34 - Bridgeport 29

Virginia Tech v. Marshall
Well, Coach Snyder isn't going to be feeling like a princess this week, that's for sure. The Hokies, despite the absence of Marcus Vick (I'm not even getting into it), easily handle the Herd. Frank Beamer's goiter is overheard saying "You know what, that Coach Snyder would be an excellent princess." Virginia Tech 48 - Marshall 10

West Virginia @ Rutgers
The Scarlet Knights are no pushover like they used to be. And after the antics of Chris Henry last year, they'll be looking for revenge. Now, my question is: How in the world do we play 2 years in a row at Rutgers? But, that's for another story...Rutgers comes out pumped up and takes a 14-0 lead. Things look bleak for the Mountaineers until there is a disturbance in the crowd. Chris Henry has shown up at the game...and he's ready to play.

After individually going through the crowd and assaulting everyone, Henry takes the field as quarterback and passes the ball to himself and scores touchdown after touchdown. He's that good folks. Following the game, Henry thanks himself and punches a little girl in the face because she has an R on her cheek. After that, Henry tears down the goal posts and carries it back to his house. He's that strong folks. Anyway, West Virginia 35 - Rutgers 21.

That's all folks...just wait, it's going to happen.