I Hate Boston

Maybe I should be more specific...I hate the Boston Red Sox. The city, I'm not real fond of but I don't hate it, just dislike it. But the Sox, hate...with a passion. While many people cheered for Boston to win their first World Series since 1918, I was hoping anyone would beat them. As they celebrated, I wept. Why? Because I hate the Boston Red Sox.

Okay...so it is established I don't like Boston. So, I guess I should explain why. First, their fans. Have you ever met a real hardcore Boston fan? There is this sense of entitlement that surrounds them. There's this feeling that even though they hadn't won a championship in 86 years, they were still better than everyone. Yeah, right.

Second, their players. Johnny Damon...get a haircut you bum. Oh, better yet, get your hair styled from those cool dudes from Queer Eye. Yeah, you're awesome buddy. David Ortiz...or Big Poppy. Yeah, you're the clutch hitter. Ya know what...do us a favor and run some laps around Fenway.

Curt Schilling and his bloody sock. Give me a break, would ya? If I have to see that thing on any more highlights, I'm gonna scream. Yeah, he had an injury and played through it. Okay...that's great...he showed guts. But have you ever watched a little game called football? Let's talk about some of their injuries...

And, Pedro has left for the Mets but here's a guy who gets a lot of respect from me. Tackling Don Zimmer of the Yankees, a man of nearly 100 years and 300 pounds, that takes real guts. I wish Zim would have fell on him and send him deep into the crust of the earth. I could just go on and on about the players...but it's still that fans that are most irritating.

Yeah, Jimmy Fallon in an awesome movie about loving the Red Sox...that makes me want to support that team. Or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as fans...boy, their stock is going up now. I don't know...maybe I'm bitter about something but I wish the Yankees would just annihilate them every year from here on out. Break their spirit and send their fans packing. I hope sometime before my death, I will see Bud Selig, who will be 223 years old, come out on the stage and say that the Red Sox will be no more because of MLB contraction. There will be no tears here. You wanna know why? I hate the Red Sox.