Best Player in College Basketball

Who is the best player in college basketball...is it J.J. Redick or Adam Morrison? Adam Morrison is a favorite because he brings a bad seventies porn 'stache to the game...and J.J. brings horrible poetry. But, don't discount the East Coast bias in the voting for CBB POY, J.J. plays at Duke, which is in North Carolina which is considerably more East Coast than Gonzaga, which is in Washington. The State, not the city. But, let's look at what else each player brings...

• Points per Game: Redick - 28.7. Morrison - 28.4. But, when you look at the schedule they have faced, Redick's points are more impressive. Advantage: Redick
• The Official Dickie V. Excitement Meter - How excited does Vitale get when he watches each player play? Well, I think it's a push. But, what will happen if these two teams meet in the NCAA tournament? His head will explode. And, if his head explodes...Advantage: CBB fans
• Toughness: Redick celebrated a 3 point field goal late in the UNC game by giving the crowd at the Dean Dome the double Shocker. And he acted tough against Boston College. Morrison looks like he's always ready to get in someone's face...and, I'm not sure I'd want him in my face. Advantage - Morrison
• Known For: Redick - Bad poetry. Getting heckled relentlessly everywhere. Being loved by Dick Vitale. Morrison - '70s style mustache. Long hair. Appearing slightly unhygienic. Being loved by Dick Vitale. But probably not writing bad poetry. Advantage - Morrison
• Location: Redick - Duke. So, well, that does it...Redick is automatically disqualified for playing at Duke. For 4 years. Automatic disqualification...he plays for Coach K...there's no overlooking that.

So, after a long and stirring debate, Adam Morrison is College Basketball's Player of the Year. Congratulations...and Tom, tell Adam what he won.

Tom: Congratulations Adam...you have won an appearance on Late Night with David Letterman where Dave will use the new Gillette Fusion razor to rid you of your 8th-grade teenage-style mustache. Back to you.

Alright, thanks Tom. And that about wraps it up for the Player of the Year honors. Thanks for joining us...and remember, Gillette is spying on you.