Friday, August 01, 2008

A Traumatic Experience at Sams

Headed up Sam's way last evening to purchase some chips and water (seriously, just chips and water) and had a very poor time of it. First, let's talk about Eastpointe Plaza. Is there any worse area to try in which to drive in and out? On my way in, I could see traffic was backed up all the way to Kroger. The stoplights to get in and out of the area are poor, at best. And given the way most people drive, nothing goes smoothly up that way. I wanted to go down towards Anmoore to leave but I couldn't get turned left. The car in front of me couldn't pull the trigger and I sat there for 5 minutes, counting the number of times I could have made the turn. Finally she gave up and turned right and within 10-seconds I hda made the left turn.

Anyway, back to Sams. Arrived and nearly got hit by some other Sams patron who apparently didn't understand that only the right lane turns right. As they cut me off, I patiently waited. I knew it was coming...but that didn't mean I liked it...but I tried to be nice about it. After waiting for all the people leaving Sams to waddle across the walk area, I was finally able to park.

I entered the store and grabbed a buggy. Or three to be more exact. I spent the next 30 seconds or so trying to separate the buggies from themselves. I finally ended up with one buggy that only had one bad wheel. Not too shabby. For the next 15 minutes I maneuvered my way around carts and buggies and people who are either too lazy or too stupid to clear the aisle. At one point, I tried to squeeze between two rather robust people who both decided to move towards the center and proceeded to crush me between their carts. After lying unconscious on the ground for 5-minutes, I got up and retrieved my water and sun chips. I threw in a can of nuts just for good measure.

Now it was time for the dreaded checkout. I proceeded to the "shortest" line, which contained only 83 people. Or maybe it was 7 people with enough groceries for 83. Apparently one of the Sams workers saw me with my can 'o nuts and chips and took pity on me as she opened a new line and invited me over. God bless that lady. I was home free...or it would seem. But I had to now navigate my way to the exit. With buggy obstacles lining the way, I cut through the tables that no one was sitting at to try to escape. But, alas, I was cut off at the pass by two double-decker buggies running side-by-side with two sssslllllloooooowwwww drivers moving them down. I was trapped. So, I slowly walked behind them until we reached the final destination...the receipt checker guy.

Now, first of all, why do you really need the receipt checker guy? I've never really seen a receipt checker go through every item to mark them off. It seems pretty useless. Well, until last night that was. Apparently this receipt checker thought these behemoths of shopping might be trying to smuggle out a roast or something because he proceeded to check through both buggies while I stood there in awe of the fact someone is actually checking through the buggies. After a good 2 minutes of searching, he was satisfied that they were not taking anything and allowed them to proceed through the exit. I was next and, since I had a whopping 5 items, he quickly moved me out the door.

I departed the shopping center where I was nearly plowed over in the same walk area that I had so patiently waited for other patrons to cross earlier. I returned to my vehicle where I placed my newly purchased goodies securely in the trunk. I then proceeded to return my three-wheeled grocery chariot to the store as the nearest cart return was a good mile away. And then I left Sams, which was obviously the best part. Just another trip to Sams really. It could have been worse though...I could have gone to Wal-Mart.

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