I don't really watch Christmas movies so I'm hardly in a position to rank the worst Christmas movies of all time. I've never watched all of Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life. I've probably seen enough bits and pieces to know the whole movie...but never have watched the whole thing non-stop. Jingle All The Way, Christmas With The Kranks, Fred Claus? Nah, I'll pass on all those too. The one Christmas movie I do watch every year, and how could I possibly miss it, is A Christmas Story.
For a consecutive 24-hours you can watch Ralphie Parker try to convince everyone that he needs an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB rifle with a compass in the stock. Watch Randy get bundled up for winter and unable to get up when he falls (Med-Alert, anyone?) A department store Santa, a bully named Scott Farkus and fudge all make appearance in this class. And, of course, the Bumpus hounds destroy a Christmas turkey, leading to the final climax at the Chinese restaurant, a Christmas not to forget, indeed.
This is about the only Christmas movie I know I'll see this year. As every year. I've recited the lines here at work ad naseum. I even received a "Triple Dog Dare You" t-shirt for a Christmas gift, which highlights the amazing scene in which Scott Schwartz valiently sticks his tongue to that flagpole and gets stuck. Truly amazing stuff. If you're one of those people who have refused to watch "A Christmas Story" because it looks dumb or because of the hype, you don't know what you're missing. Check it out.
And, if you're bored, go here: http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/ and check out some ugly Christmas light.